Writing Prompt – Day 74
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Write a story including the line “I can’t say it.”
My example :
Derek is out of breath by the time he catches up to me. The night stars above offer me nothing more than a perfect night sky to this dreadful day. I’m not a heart breaker, but tonight I will be one.
“Emily, please stop!” Derek begs.
Maybe his heart won’t be the only one breaking. To hear the pain in his voice is killing me but I can’t lie to him.
“Emily please!” He keeps up the pace with me.
I finally stop. It’s now or never. The poor guy’s soul is about to crush in front of my eyes. It’ll be cowardly on my part to let this go on any longer. Turning toward him, the “knowing” in his gaze is the worst part of it all.
“Emily,” he whispers. “Please, tell me the truth. You know this wasn’t all in my head.”
I shake my head, allowing a tear to fall down my cheek. He goes to swipe it but I move my face away.
“I love you. If any part of this has been real, please say it back. I know you felt it too.” His hand is sliding through his disgruntled hair.
“I- I don’t know how to tell you this Derek.” I hate how sympathetic I look toward him, like he’s a wounded puppy dog.
I lead him on. I know I did. And for what? A fling? I knew he was falling in love with me and I didn’t stop any of it from happening. What does that say about the kind of person I am?
“Emily, I’m begging you.” He tries to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear like he’s done so many other times before, but I push his hand away. Desperation takes over and he begins pulling up pictures of us on his phone, swiping through each. “You can’t tell me none of this was real.”
His words linger in the air while my own words are lost. Maybe I don’t know what I really feel. I’m confused.
Derek places his phone back in his pocket and reaches for my hands. This time I allow him to touch me. “Please look at me. I’ve never loved someone so much in my entire life. You mean everything – the world – to me. I can’t live without you. Do you understand that? I’m in love with you Emily Rose. Please don’t do this.”
It’s pathetic how I just stand there, tears pooling in my eyes, still speechless. There’s no other choice but to end this tonight but do I really want to? I shake the thought away. Of course I have to.
Derek lets go of my hands, placing each of his on the side of my cheeks. The familiar feeling would normally be comforting but under these circumstances, it’s almost unbearable. “If you don’t love me, I promise you, I will walk away. If that’s what you really want. I can handle it if I’ve made a fool out of myself. But damn it Emily, if you do love me, I need you to tell me now. Tell me you love me.”
The air becomes so heavy it’s suffocating and the silence is almost deafening. Finally, I get the courage to speak.
“I- I can’t say it,” I croak out.
My quivering lip is impossible to control now as he drops his arms heavily to his sides. His hand rakes back through his hair again. As if he’s giving me one more chance to say it, he waits a moment before he begins to walk away, shaking his head his head in the process. My feet are cemented to the ground, I’m motionless as I literally feel his pain.
Staring blankly at the empty space in front of me where Derek once stood, it hits me what I’ve just done. I just lost the only person who I’ve ever felt a deep connection with.
And for what?
Because I’m afraid to be vulnerable? Because I’m afraid of being hurt? Because I choose not to trust another man since all the others have hurt me?
I thought I was a coward if I didn’t end things tonight. But no, I’m a coward for letting him walk away.
It’s then I realize he’s worth the risk. With no risk there’s no reward and if there’s any chance that he is my forever, I’m not letting him go. I’m lying to myself if I think I don’t love him. This was real. All of it. And it’s time I allow him to love me.
In a panic, I turn around and sprint after him. “Derek! Derek!”
He stops and slowly turns around. I don’t give him a chance before I plant my lips against his. “I do love you! There, I said it.” I kiss him again. “This wasn’t all in your head. And I can’t live without you either.”
How’d you do pals?!
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